Escape the Doubt Read online

  Published by:

  Andrea Michelle

  This book is a work of fiction. The characters, places, and events portrayed in this book are fictitious and the work of the author’s imagination. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

  Escape the Doubt

  © Copyright 2013 by Andrea Michelle

  “Revised edition” © Copyright 2014 by Andrea Michelle

  All rights reserved.

  All rights reserved. Except for brief quotations within a review or article, no other part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form including but not limited to: electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or other creations in the future hereafter without written permission of the publisher.

  The author acknowledges the real people, places, copyrighted/trademarked status and the trademark owners of all mentioned in this work of fiction. This includes, but is not limited to references to social media, various local places and people. All mentioned trademarks are the property of their respective owners.

  This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This book may not be re-sold, or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, you must purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not gifted to you legally, then you should return it to the seller and purchase your own copy. Please, respect the copyright and hard work of this author. Thank you for reading.

  Cover Design: Artistry in Design

  Cover Photographer/License: Coka and Veer

  Interior Design: Andrea Michelle

  Editor: Monique O’Connor James

  *Warning: Recommended for readers 17+ due to sexual content, under age drinking and adult language. This is book one in a trilogy and the story will continue in the next novel.

  TO MY HUSBAND *You are my best friend and the most wonderful Daddy in the entire world. Our daughters are so very lucky to have you. Without your support, I could not have made this happen. You picked up the slack, and urged me to continue when I escaped into a fictional world inside of my head. You knew what I needed, and even though it meant neglecting you, I was given that escape. YOU ROCK!

  TO MY DAUGHTERS (Princess, Sassy and Trouble) *Y’all are my ultimate inspiration—three beautiful blessings that I thank God for everyday. You are the very reason I eat, sleep and breathe on a daily basis. Without the most important hat I wear, which is that of your mom, I would be half a person—incomplete.

  TO MANY AMAZING LADIES *My Beta Team: I heart you ladies so much. Erica, Heather, Jess, Trista, Jen, Meg, Chelle, Alicia, Jamie, Myra and Angel - I love you soooo much. That is not enough O’s for how much your support on this journey means to me. I adore you dearly for all of your kind words and encouragement throughout this crazy adventure. You get me. *My street team (The Working Girl’s): y’all are the best and you make our street corner an exciting place to be. Thankfully, you all love Josh and Riley as much as I do, and make this process of bringing this story to life an easy one. *My Texas Dance Momma’s: Clarissa, Stacy, Michelle, Maria and Jane—I miss you tons. Rachel Galloway, you became my first fan. We talked books before I became an author, and then I became the author you talked about—AWESOME! All of you have supported me, encouraged me to pursue my passion and I’ve loved every minute. Y’all were the first to realize I am crazy, and the first to fall in love with the characters that live in my head. Alicia Lyons Boudreaux, we met in college and here we are now as adults. Who would’ve thought that Cowgirl Kicker friend of yours would have wrote a romance novel? I’m so thankful to have a friend that loves reading as much as I do, even more grateful to have a friend support me while I do this crazy thing. – ALL OF Y’ALL ARE AMAZING AND I LOVE YOU LIKE CRAZY!

  TO THE READER *I used to write for fun—as a hobby—a way to release things I wanted to say but never did (usually poetry or songs). It started in high school when I had one of those moments where I said and did something that I knew I would regret later. So, I wrote it down. The things I wished I had said. The emotion behind why I couldn't. In my writing, I released my regret, escaped the fear of failure and spoke the truth.

  When some things started spiraling out of control in my life, that same fear came—that same dark feeling that this could and might go really, really wrong. I needed that same escape again in my life. So, I wrote it down, this time it was a story. Not a real story, but a story to help me not focus on the real one I was feeling lost in at the time. In the middle of that story, another one came. That is the one that helped me the most. That is the one that let me tap into the girl I was when it all began—back in high school. That story is the one you just read, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing so.

  I wrote, Escape the Doubt (yes, that title is special) for me originally. I pulled out my old poetry/songs and I gave it to my characters. I let it be hers, even his. The day I hit publish; I also let it be yours. I hope you enjoyed it.

  This story was fictional, but growing up and falling in love are very real things young people face on a daily basis, and maintaining that love is something everyone in a relationship struggles with. Sometimes life interferes and gives us doubts in ourselves, and we make mistakes, or choose the wrong path, but in the end we are all given the chance to find peace in the storm—a chance to believe in something—create our own kind of beautiful. Again, thank you for reading, Escape the Doubt. I hope you continue the journey with Josh and Riley in, Embrace the Moment. I kindly ask that you leave a review behind for future readers. I read each and every one. Your thoughts mean the world to me.

  TO FELLOW AUTHORS *Lord, so many of you have paved the way for other Indie authors like myself, and I thank you. The process to get here was full of uncertainty and many questions. I have a great deal of respect and huge book love to all of you. Some of you have been extra supportive during this new journey by answering my crazy questions, giving advice and embracing a newbie with open arms. I find it an honor to write amongst y’all. I look forward to future friendships being formed.

  TO ALL THE LOVELY BLOGGERS *YOU ARE AMAZING! I love you all. None of this would be possible without you. Special thanks to: Kylie with Give Me Books for putting together my release day blitz, Debbie with I Heart YA Books for my cover reveal, Lyndsey with Booker Hooker for my lovely trailer and Ena with Journey’s into Pure Imagination for my Blog Tour – YOU LADIES ROCK! I can’t possibly list all of the blogs that helped make my debut a success without leaving someone out. Words really can’t express how much I appreciate you. THANK YOU for the reviews, the posts—ALL OF IT!

  Once upon a time in the boot of Louisiana, a young girl made a mess of things and began writing dark poetry to cope. She often found herself daydreaming and creating stories in a far away land that didn't exist and was always out of her reach. Her mission was to move on, find love and a reason to believe in the beautiful things in life. She didn't expect to be counting her blessings daily for all that she has found since then. Her once dark poetry became colorful and bright—it became music. She found purpose and her make believe stories slowly vanished away. Her poetry also sat in the backseat, as more important things took priority. However, life can catapult you in the blink of an eye. A long forgotten coping mechanism of writing would once again become her escape. This time, though, she realized that this escape where she created stories was not a curse, but a gift. Embracing her voice, she breathes life into her characters and poetically weaves together stories for readers to enjoy. She is no longer the young girl who feared the unknown, but is stronger and has faith that beautiful things will always be in reach. She is married
to her best friend, and is a mom to three beautiful daughters who are her favorite cheerleaders. She is excited to have the opportunity to share her love of writing with readers. The stories are fictional, but they are real to her. She has always felt things passionately and this new journey as an author is no different. She is no longer looking back, but looking ahead to this amazing adventure with all of you. She invites you to connect with her if you desire to do so.

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  Dear Reader,

  I truly believe music is the perfect healer for a bad day or the inspiration to a beautiful story. I love to listen to music while I write; actually I find it necessary. This is the playlist that I felt moved me while I climbed inside Josh & Riley’s heads. Enjoy :)

  PLAYLIST FOR THIS NOVEL:

  *TO LISTEN AND FOLLOW: http://t.co/YiwCm97eSq

  Let Me Go - 3 Door Down

  Closer - Kings of Leon

  Wish You Were Here - Incubus

  Sweater Weather - The Neighbourhood

  You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

  Broken - Seether (featuring Amy Lee)

  Afterglow - Phaleh

  Crash my Party - Luke Bryan

  Wasting All These Tears - Cassadee Pope

  In my Veins - Andrew Belle

  You Don’t Know Her Like I Do - Brantley Gilbert

  Somewhere With You - Kenney Chesney

  Through Glass - Stone Sour

  Taking Over Me - Evanescence-

  Pushing Me Away - Linkin Park

  All Around Me - Flyleaf

  Not Meant To Be - Theory of a Deadman-

  There’s A Wall - Miranda Lambert

  The Way You Are - Bruno Mars

  Beneath Your Beautiful - Labrinth

  Counting Stars - One Republic

  Demons - Imagine Dragons

  Everything Has Changed - Taylor Swift

  Sunny and 75 - Joe Nichols

  Alleyway - The Neighbourhood

  Angels - The XX

  Love Song - The Cure

  Holocene - Bon Iver

  Realize - Colbie Caillat

  Lips of an Angel - Hinder

  Fall For You - Secondhand Serenade

  Together - The XX

  You’ve got the Love - Florence and the Machine

  Down - Jason Walker

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  BONUS CHAPTER –END OF US

  EMPTY PROMISES (A SHORT STORY)

  SYNOPSIS FOR PART TWO, EMBRACE THE MOMENT

  THEME SONG FOR THIS NOVEL: Down by Jason Walker

  Is taking a chance with your heart worth the escape, or was it better to have never loved at all? Can forgiveness really set you free?

  After the unexpected death of her Dad, and the haunting manner in which he died, Riley Shaw built invisible walls around her heart. Barriers she created to protect her from splintering into broken pieces that couldn’t be repaired. She was unable to move forward from her past, letting the guilt of her parent’s mistakes dictate her own choices.

  Dean Warren was safe. Being with him was innocent and peaceful because she didn’t truly love him. His words held her captive in a false sense of security. His eyes were deceptive, and his promises of never pushing her beyond what she was willing to give were broken, leaving Riley in a state of regret and doubt.

  Joshua Parker had the power to take what was left of Riley’s splintered pieces and ruin her completely, or make her whole again. He was her best friend, her next-door neighbor—everything she wanted and settled on never having. Loving him was as easy as breathing air. The fear of losing him forever was more real to her than the feelings she couldn’t escape.

  When faced with the very thing she feared the most, and in the arms she thought were safe, Riley finds herself questioning every decision she has made over the past two years. When she finally escapes the doubt in her head, and accepts the truth in her heart, is it too late?

  “I’m so close to the edge of the cliff that I know one more breath, one more inch, I could fall.” –Riley Shaw

  Recommended for 17+ due to underage drinking, sexual content and adult language.

  PROLOGUE

  “What do you want from me?” my dad shouted at my mom.

  “For you to listen. Just listen. You never listen. You just...” my mom yelled back not able to finish her sentence.

  “I just what? I work my ass off, put a house over you girls’ heads, you want for nothing, yet it’s never enough for you, Claudia!” His voice raised a decibel louder.

  “It’s not about the money, Evan. You are never home. Look at the table for God’s sake. You didn’t even come home last night...AGAIN!” She gestured to the full plate still sitting untouched on the table from the night before.

  “What were you doing this time, Evan? Or dare I say, who were you doing?” she asked with malice dripping from every word.

  He recoiled from her accusation and looked at the table somewhat sheepishly—but not full on guiltily—before narrowing his eyes at her. Like a rubber band had stung him, he retaliated with angry words.

  “You know what, Claudia? I made a goddamn mistake years ago—one you still throw in my face every chance you get. I was twenty-three years old and scared as fuck. I’ve reaped what I sowed a thousand times over. I’ve apologized a million times over, but you won’t let the shit die. I don’t even know why I try anymore. I CHOSE YOU!” He was basically in her face, cornering her into the kitchen counters. He bowed his head to hers, gripped her by her quivering chin and forced her to look at him. “When are you going to choose me?” he asked with such sincerity it ripped my heart into shreds.

  Once a cheater. Always a cheater. That’s what my mom’s mother had told her. Lectured her, in fact, on how foolish it was to stay with him after finding out he had cheated. My grandpa, who I had never met, had run off when my mom was just a baby.

  “I baked his bread, but he got it buttered by someone else,” Grandma would say.

  Needless to say, it’d been drilled into my mom’s head that all men cheat. It’d been cemented into mine that love was just a joke.

  All more reasons why I would never commit with my whole heart. Love was just temporary. Nothing lasted forever.

  THE AIR I BREATHE IS FILLED WITH HIS SCENT

  THE MUSIC SPEAKS EVERYTHING I MEANT

  ME
ANT TO SAY, BUT NEVER DID TELL YOU

  YOU HAUNT ME WHERE I LIE ALONE WITHOUT YOU

  FEELING YOUR TOUCH AS IT VANISHES AWAY

  MY OWN HEART IS THE ONE I BETRAYED

  CHAPTER 1

  Sometimes to escape the noise of haunting memories, you need your best friend’s hand in your own, to help erase the sound and fill you with a sense of peace, even if it’s temporary.

  “I thought I would find you here,” Josh says as he sits down next to me. He interlaces his fingers with my left hand as I trace over my dad’s name on the tombstone.

  “You okay? You look far away.” He always worries about me, especially on this day.

  I nod, swiping a few lost tears. “I was just remembering that day. Their angry words thunder so loudly in my head. It’s been three years today, and it still hurts.” I rub the throb in my chest that never dulls.

  He pulls me to his side and kisses my forehead the way he always does.

  “I don’t think the hurt of losing someone goes away, Riley. Some days are better than others. But missing them—that feeling—I think it’s always lying dormant. Something as simple as a song on the radio, or the smell of their perfume on someone else, triggers all those memories. And in one moment, you’re trapped in the past.” He sighs forlornly, getting lost in his past. I’m stuck in mine always.

  I look at him, my best friend, his own pain from loss etched all over his face. The guilt kills me every day. He understands more than anyone how I feel, except for the guilt.

  “I’m sorry, Josh,” I whisper.

  He cups my chin, tilting my face to his, “Riley, we do this every year, and every year you apologize to me. It’s not your fault that your dad got in the car that night, or that my mom was a victim of his drunk driving.”

  “It’s my dad’s fault, and my mom’s fault. Therefore, I am guilty by association. He should never have been on the road. I’m sorry we came into your lives. Because of that, you don’t have your mom. It’s not fair.” I choke on every word as they burn out of my throat.